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Tuesday, February 08, 2005 { 1:37 AM }

i dunt noe y sumtyms i'll lyk 4 nth feel xcited or 4 nth feel scared or 4 nth feel angry...hahaz...dunt noe wat happen tuu me. i'm trying tuu 4get tt person(let's assume the person is called x), but all the more i'll rmb x. x's absence make me feel er...worried or i can sae is xcited. i still cant make up my mind, whether is xcited or worried. maeb i've been telling myself tt i m xcited. my brain is ruling my heart. now i dunt noe wat m i feeling 2wards x-worried or xcited. i watched "The butterfly lovers" on Sundae. sooooo touching. maeb u'll sae i'm emotional, but tt's wat i m-EQ vv low. the words Leon told Jo was so touching. i guess anione who watched it wuld feel unbearable, the pain in yr heart may grow)))= i wish tuu 4get 'bout the past n live a brand new life, esp 'bout x. i think x is lyk ruling my brain. i muz stop it quick...as this is stupid! i muz concentrate on my studies as streaming is round the corner. sum things seemed so far, yet so near. this type of feeling cant b described. the worried n scared feeling tt sumthing bad is gonna happed will overwhelm u. i juz wish 4 all my tests, exams n daily work will score good grades, n i'll b able tuu make it tuu the course i wanted=) it looks easy, but in fact it's totally unattemptable. it's juz a wish. wishing is an easy thing, but when u want tuu make it cum in2 reality, it's totally difficult. pray 4 me God=)